No matter where people live or what their
circumstances may be, everyone needs boundless, restorative love.
One of the
stories that Pastor Boyle refers to in his book Tattoos on the Heart is about a
fifteen year old boy named Rigo who was about to make his first communion.
Boyle would host Mass in the gym at a detention facility called Camp Paige and
had some time before the Mass to sit down and talk to Rigo very briefly. Rigo
has been locked up in jail for more than a year and a half. Boyle asks him about
his basic life story such as his relationship with his mom and dad and the
affect they are having on him. Rigo talks about a time in 4th grade when
he got into a fight at school and had to deal with his dad when he got home.
His dad was a heroin addict and always beats him. This time it was with a pipe.
His mother takes seven buses every Sunday to visit Rigo while he does his time
at the detention facility. Rigo sobs when telling both these stories. His mother
is showing Rigo that no matter what he has done she has forgiven him. Rigo is
finally realizing the power of forgiveness and love. “You know how many buses
she takes every Sunday—to see my sorry ass?” His mother’s actions are making
him realize how much his choices impact the people in your life. Even though he
made a bad decision(s) that got him to where he is now the biggest thing is he
is knows what he has done and accepts it. There is nothing else he can do but
to move on and create a better life for himself and his mother full of love.
Another gang
member that Boyle is familiar with goes by the name of Scrappy. Boyle and
Scrappy have never been on good terms. Boyle has interrupted a fight between
Scrappy and another gang member and eventually it lead to Scrappy pointing a
gun at Boyle saying he’ll shoot him too. A few years after that confrontation,
Scrappy seeks help and goes to Boyle as that savior. “I have spent the last
twenty years building a reputation for myself… and now… I regret… that I even
have one.” His years of gang banging has ended up being lost time to him. When
being in a gang you’re given respect, but not so much love is given. He knows
how to sell drugs and gang bang but doesn’t know things such as changing the
oil in his car or how to wash his clothes except in the sink of the cell. In
jail, you get no love either. You’re non-loving decisions before you got into
jail is just leading you to a place where there is none whatsoever. Scrappy didn’t
find love from Boyle but from God. Scrappy wanted change and when he was
working for a graffiti crew, he found it. Love doesn’t have to come from a higher
power such as God; it can come from something as easy as a sport or an idea. No
matter what we have done, there is always time for change. Love can change not
only the way someone looks at a situation but how they will act during that situation.
Love can make
you do crazy things that you wouldn’t expect to do. Boyle talks about an inmate
he knew at Folsom State Prison whose father as a child would get drunk and beat
his mom. He beat his mom so bad one time that his mom had to be escorted around
wherever she went by his sisters because her eyes were swollen shut she couldn’t
see. One day, Lefty went into his parents’ bedroom, retrieved a gun and walked
out to living room where his dad was sitting on the couch. He stood in front of
the television points the gun at his father and threatens him by saying “You
are my father, and I love you. If you ever hit my mother again … I… will… kill
you.” When you are surrounded by an environment of violence, it can really mess
with your mindset. You can feel neglected and not loved. That violence by
others can rub off on you and change your attitude or perspective more than you
thought it could. Love made Lefty do what he did. He was tired of seeing his
mom suffer for the decisions that his father was making. He loved both his
mother and father but could no longer deal with the pain and violence that he
was seeing and feeling. When you love someone, you’ll do about anything to make
them happy or help them succeed. Whether it be sending them to rehab and
supporting them or even pointing a gun at them and threatening them, love has
the power to make not only yourself happy but others as well. Sometimes one
small act of care and love can make the difference.
One act of
care or love was when Boyle talks about kid known as Lula when he was 10 years
old. Lula was a “special ed” kid. He basically grew up in Boyle’s office. Boyle
saw him walking across the street one day and caught his attention just by
saying hello. Lula loved that someone actually acknowledged him and had a smile
the whole rest of the way he walked in the crosswalk and kept turning back
looking at Boyle. Lula later on enters Boyle’s office one day and shows him a
report card that has all F’s on it. He was very excited to show Boyle his
grades but Boyle couldn’t figure out why. He found something to congratulate
Lula for and it was that he had no absences. He asks him a question and says he
can win 5 bucks if he gets it right. Lula answers it correctly and says it was
easy. A small act such as this can determine whether someone gives up or they
keep striving on. Love has that power. Boyle loves what he does and his caring
act towards Lula shows that. Boyle refers to a quote from Simone Weil that says
“Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world, but people
capable of giving them their attention.” It’s much easier to give up then it is
to keep working and push forward when you are faced with a difficult task. Some
people need some encouragement to help regain focus and even give them a
meaning of life. There is no better feeling knowing that someone loves and
cares for you and wants you to be successful. We all have love towards
something whether it’s toward the community or a favorite book. Love plays a
huge role in society and without it, this world would be known as “I” rather than
“Us”.
